Misleading Divorce Statistics … There IS Hope for Marriage!

You may have heard it said that 50% of all marriages will end in divorce.  Many reputable studies and reports in recent years have shown that THIS JUST ISN’T TRUE!  The actual divorce rate is much lower.   The following article reinforces this very clearly.  It comes from the May 7, 2014 installment of Washington Update distributed online by the Family Research Council.  When you hear anyone spouting off about the imminent end of marriage … DON’T BELIEVE IT!  Marriage between one man and one woman is an institution put in place by God Himself in the perfection of Eden.  God will NOT allow it to disappear.  It will CONTINUE to be a beautiful gift from God that reflects the perfect love between Jesus and His bride, the church.  Marriage in God’s way IS here to last!

 

Split Decisions: Author Fights Divorce Rate Myth

Is it possible, reporters are asking, that everything we’ve been told about marriage and divorce is wrong? Shaunti Feldhahn thinks so. The Harvard-trained researcher spent the last eight years trying to get to the bottom of the data on broken marriages — and the results might shock you. We’ve all heard the statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce. Not so fast, says Feldhahn, who lays out the argument in her new book (The Good News about Marriage) that the actual divorce rate isn’t even close to that number.

Like most sociologists, Shaunti says she’s “stood up on stage and said every one of those wrong statistics.” Now, she’s on a mission to correct those assumptions. If anything, she points out, the divorce rate is dropping. “First-time marriages: probably 20 to 25% have ended in divorce on average,” she explains. “There is no such thing as a 50% divorce rate. It’s never been close. Right now,” she tells Billy Hallowell of The Blaze, “…72% of people are still married to their first spouse — that’s Census Bureau data.”

At the very least, Feldhahn estimates, the divorce rate is 27-50% lower than people think. “Starting in the 1970s — that’s when those projections started — when no fault divorce started, the divorce rate skyrocketed. Suddenly, there was this explosion in divorce… it has fallen according to the crude divorce rate… 32% since 1980.”

… One of Shaunti’s favorite things is shocking people with the news that 80% of marriages are happy. “The sense of futility itself pulls down marriages. And the problem is we have this culture-wide feeling of futility about marriage. It’s based on all these discouraging beliefs and many of them just aren’t true.” I don’t know about you, but I could use some good news on our culture — and the Good News about Marriage is exactly that!

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Care for Those Cohabiting

Cohabiting outside of marriage is clearly out of line with God’s good way for us.  He wants us to have something much better than such a hollow relationship.  I was talking about this yesterday in a presentation to Michigan District assimilation workers and other church leaders.  I noted there are many good arguments from reason and social science why cohabiting (including between homosexual couples) is destructive to individuals, couples and society as a whole.  But, I then moved on to the heart of my presentation … that logical argument will never be a very effective tool to reach the heart of those who are cohabiting.  Real care for such persons requires the building of a trusting RELATIONSHIP.  We who’ve received the perfect love of Jesus (“Thumbs Up” to Him), must be willing to invest the time and care it takes to build a trusting relationship with others if we ever want to pass on the love of Jesus to them.

Reinforcing this point was one source I referenced, former Syracuse University English professor and author Rosaria Champagne Butterfield.  As a formerly vocal lesbian who vehemently opposed the Christian faith, she was liberated from her ultimately hopeless worldview … by the patient and persistent love of a Christian pastor and his wife.  Rosaria notes that it was NOT argumentation that won her over.  It was the willingness of this Christian couple to accept her as she was, welcome her into their home and let her ask her questions in her own time.  Their caring relationship opened the door for the Holy Spirit to work through the Word of Christ to change her heart and life forever.  You may want to read more from Rosaria in her book The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert.

It’s ultimately the Spirit of God working through Word and Sacraments that will set sinners free and draw them into an eternal relationship with Jesus Christ.  However, it’s our caring RELATIONSHIP with people that can prompt hardened or simply ignorant sinners to listen to us as we point them to Jesus, the Gospel center of all Scripture.  If you care for those who are cheating themselves by cohabiting outside of God’s Way for marriage, don’t start with judgment and argumentation.  Pray for them and pass along to them the same sacrificial, unconditional and incarnational love that Jesus gives to us.  Such a trustworthy relationship is the most likely door to their freedom!

To see MY POWER POINT I shared yesterday, use THIS LINK.

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A Church Shaped by Marriage

I just recently received a Call to serve as an Associate Pastor at Trinity Lutheran Church in Crown Point, Indiana.  Leading up to the Call, Heather and I had the opportunity to visit Trinity and its leaders.  We thoroughly enjoyed getting to know another family of believers that’s seeking to have their ministry shaped by God’s way for marriage.  They’re earnestly seeking to focus the congregation on Jesus as their perfect husband.  They’re also teaching how the love they receive from Jesus is also the kind of love that will build up strong marriages and families.  I was thrilled to see how successful this congregation has already been at having God’s way for marriage be their guiding principle for life.  It was also tempting for me to accept the Call to be a part of this ongoing process at Trinity.

In the end, however, I’ve been led to decline the Call to Trinity.  The reasons I would go there, to focus on marriage and family ministry, are also keeping me here, at Faith in Grand Blanc.  Nevertheless, the process of considering the Call to Trinity was energizing to me.  It was great to see that other Christians “out there” are catching on to the importance of building up marriages and all relationships in God’s way.  The marital love of Jesus for the church is, indeed, a wonderful guide to all our relationships as Christians in this world.  In particular, it’s an excellent guide for the way we function as the church on earth.

I’ll continue to pray for Trinity as they walk side by side with Faith in the effort to shine the love of Jesus into the world.  As the Spirit works in us, many more Christian congregations will be led to the blessings of church-life that’s shaped by God’s way for marriage and many more individuals will receive the blessings of living out life in God’s way.

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God’s NOT Dead!

“God’s Not Dead!”  The title of a popular movie in theaters now.  A bold statement of the TRUTH of Easter.  Our reason for absolute JOY!

As I write this, it’s 2:30 p.m. on Good Friday afternoon.  I always like to pause at this time of day on Good Friday to reflect on what Jesus really did suffer in a REAL human body on the cross.  Incarnate love.  Jesus showed it to the ultimate degree.  His death in real human flesh made Him a worthy substitute for ME … and YOU …  and ALL people.

By Lawrence OP

But, that’s NOT the end of the story.  The incarnate love of Jesus didn’t end in the cold stone tomb of Good Friday.  Easter is just around the corner.  That’s the day that we see incarnate love in it’s full, beautiful and glorious splendor.  GOD’S NOT DEAD!  Jesus DID rise in the flesh.  Death could NOT hold Him down.

It’ s just awesome to consider the incarnate love of Jesus.  He chose to enter into hell in our place.  I’m humbled.  I’m saddened.  Yet, because of Easter I’m also OVERJOYED!  We honor Jesus and give Him the appropriate praise as we’re filled with joy over what He gave us.  We show Him our thanks and praise as we pass on His love to the world in the flesh.  Incarnate love.  We can’t be perfect at it as He was, but we can do an awful lot to show it to the world as we relate to one another in His way.  We can also tell the world about the glorious news of Easter … that GOD’S NOT DEAD … that we will live even though we die.

Jesus IS ALIVE in the flesh.  He WILL raise us from the dead in the flesh.

Incarnate love.  That’s the story of Easter.  That’s OUR story forever.

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Defending Humanity

Although I provided a summary of our Panama trip last week, there were a few comments we received that are worthy of further consideration.  One was by Rupert, the pastor who translated for us.  He said our message had a profound impact because we were modeling “One Flesh” love in all that we did as a family.  We truly cared for each other in a way that people could SEE.  Having heard and seen so many hypocritical speakers, his people are skeptical toward such “experts.”  But, his people responded with enthusiasm to our message because it came from REAL people.

Our host, Edilberto, backed up this sentiment as he said we were more than just a good family, we were “a good team.”  Comparing us to other teams he had seen and hosted, he was struck by how well we lived together in Christian love ALL THE TIME.  This touched him and lent weight to our message in Panama.

It was the combination of our teaching God’s Word together with LIVING it in the flesh  that was noticed by many others in Panama.  The evaluations from the couples’ seminar expressed this loudly.  I was really struck by this one comment,

“MARRIAGE IN GOD’S WAY IS THE DEFENSE OF HUMANITY.”

That’s a pretty impressive evaluation!  I’m humbled to have someone respond to our message this way.  But, I’m not surprised.  I agree completely!  When we understand God’s way for marriage and follow its guidance in ALL of life, we WILL be defended from Satan’s attacks that seek to destroy us and our relationships with others, especially with Jesus.  Life in God’s way IS a trustworthy DEFENSE for humanity.  Following God’s Way as revealed by Jesus, we’re able to enjoy a taste of the wonderful life God intended for us when He first made us.

Joyfully Living in God's Way with our  "Thumbs Up" to Jesus after the Singles' Seminar

Joyfully Living in God’s Way with our “Thumbs Up” to Jesus after the Singles’ Seminar

 

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Panama Mission Trip

Panama Flag on Ancon Hill

Panama Flag on Ancon Hill

From March 26th through April 1st, our family had the privilege to take the principles of “Life in God’s Way” to the people of Panama, Central America.  We lived and worked with Edilberto Mendez, the Director of the Lutheran Hour Ministries’ office in Panama City.  The office operates under the name “Cristo Para Todas Las Nacionces” or “Christ for All the Nations.”  We had a WONDERFUL time!  The travels and weather were great.  The food and lodging worked out well.  Edilberto was the perfect host.  And, most of all, the people of Panama were eager to receive the guidance and blessing of Christ Jesus through our teachings about “Life in God’s Way.”  In fact, Edilberto is seeking to find a way to have us bring our teachings to two locations in Peru, South America, where he is doing satellite work.  In addition, Rupert, our translator for the  seminars, a local pastor and the head of the Church of God in all of Panama, would very much like us to come back to Panama soon.  He believes there are hundreds more in Panama who would be eager to receive what we have to give.  As he said, “Your presence as a family who are living what you teach is a huge blessing to us.  People here are eager to learn from those who live what they teach.  Your family does that very well.”  Edilberto backed up this sentiment as he said on our way back to the airport, “Not only are you a good family, you are a good team.  You work well together to show the love of Jesus.”

Below I’ve included the day by day journal I kept on our trip.  While these entries were posted earlier on Facebook, I’ve added pictures and further details.

Please join us in praising God for a safe and productive trip.  Based on the initial response, the people of Panama were thrilled to have received the love of Jesus Christ, the perfect husband, through our time with them.  They’re also eagerly sharing that same love of Jesus with everyone around them … living life in God’s way.  More doors may be opening to the working of the Holy Spirit as a result of this trip.  Thanks be to God!

 

WED., MARCH 26 – Fly from Flint, MI to Panama City via Atlanta

We made it to Panama on schedule without a hitch … even through immigration 🙂
Our host, Edilberto, is wonderful.

Waiting to leave Flint

Waiting to leave Flint

With Edilberto in front of CPTLN Office

With Edilberto in front of CPTLN Office

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THURS., MARCH 27

This is our next installment from Panama. We had a very good presentation by the staff here. They are doing great things to connect to the people. Tonight we will be speaking to single people about relationships in God’s Way.  We’re excited to join them for this. Please pray that all goes well and we make many connections. God’s blessings to all of you.

With the CPTLN Staff

With the CPTLN Staff

High Rises in Panama City

High Rises in Panama City

Crossing "New" Bridge over the Panama Canal

Crossing “New” Bridge over the Panama Canal

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Political Campaigning EVERYWHERE

Political Campaigning EVERYWHERE

Children Welcoming Us to Loma Cova

Children Welcoming Us to Loma Cova

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Host Church for Singles’ Seminar

Hannah & Micah with Local Youth After Presentation

Hannah & Micah with Local Youth After Presentation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FRI., MARCH 28

Morning…

It is now Friday morning.  We had a wonderful singles´ seminar last night across the Panama Canal.  Beautiful drive through rain forest … once we got out of city traffic.  There were many happy children eager to greet us.  The youth who attended listened well and had many good questions.  Hannah, Micah and Heather all added input that was eagerly received.  Today we will be going to visit a Project Joel outreach site in a public school.  We will also prepare for the couples’ retreat which will take place tomorrow.
We’re all doing great and are enjoying the warmer weather.

Evening …

Today we were able to see Ancon Hill, the highest point in the city, with a great view.  We also visited the Miraflores locks of the Panama Canal, which was awesome.  We then went to a school for maritime students in which Project Joel is teaching Christian values.  I spoke briefly to the students about leadership in God’s way.  Another highlight of the day came when we visited the hotel where we’ll be presenting the couples’ seminar tomorrow.  A group of reporters and dignitaries were gathered in the lobby where we were waiting.  When one group came our way, Edilberto, our host, stepped forward to greet one man with a handshake and a brief exchange in Spanish and the man then greeted each of us with a smile, handshake and welcome to Panama.  After he left, Edilberto informed us he is one of the leading candidates for President of Panama in the upcoming, May 4 election.  His name is Juan Carlos Navarro.  Edilberto has a confidence and kindness that connects well with everyone.
Please pray for a God-pleasing and engaging seminar with the  couples tomorrow.

Panama City View from Ancon Hill

Panama City View from Ancon Hill

Canal View from Ancon Hill

Canal View from Ancon Hill

 

Ship in Miraflores Locks of Panama Canal

Ship in Miraflores Locks of Panama Canal

Todd Speaking to Students at Maritime School

Todd Speaking to Students at Maritime School

Typical High Temp. of 99F

Typical High Temp. of 99F

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Campaign Billboard of Juan Carlos Navarro

Campaign Billboard of Juan Carlos Navarro

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SAT., MARCH 29

Our couples’ seminar went VERY well today.  Edilberto and his team did a great job of planning and carrying out the seminar details.  The couples were attentive and enthusiastic in their response.  Everyone wanted a picture with us and to have us sign their certificates at the end.  We felt like we were candidates for the Panama elections.  Praise God for a successful seminar to his glory and the good of all who participated, including us.
Tomorrow we travel to Emanuel Lutheran Church in Sora, about 90 minutes from the city.  I will preach for worship.
Thanks again for all your prayers.

Couple Receiving Certificate after Seminar

Couple Receiving Certificate after Seminar

Heather and Rupert (Our Translator)

Heather and Rupert (Our Translator)

Presentation of Appreciation to Todd

Presentation of Appreciation to Todd

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SUN., MARCH 30

We had a great trip to the town of Sora this morning, stopping along the way for a “typical” Panamanian breakfast.  We very much enjoyed worshipping with Ken Peterson and the members of Emanuel Lutheran Church.  Ken is the former director of Lutheran Hour Ministries in all of Latin America.  I, Todd, really enjoyed preaching in the outdoor air church with a background of singing birds, chirping cicadas and beautiful sunny skies.  The people listened well and were very supportive.
We also really enjoyed visiting the mountain top home of Ken and Martha Peterson.  The view was awesome and fresh squeezed orange juice from their own backyard was wonderful.
We then stopped for fresh seafood along the Pacific coast in Veracruz and also took a driving tour of Old Town Panama City.  Panama is a truly beautiful country and Edilberto has been a perfect host and tour guide.
Tomorrow we will go to tour the new Panama locks construction site in Colon on the Atlantic Ocean side of the country and visit with Rupert, another partner pastor who grew up in Colon.
God’s Blessings to All!

Panamanian Breakfast in a Ranchito

Panamanian Breakfast in a Ranchito

 

Beautiful Area around Emanuel Lutheran Church

Beautiful Area around Emanuel Lutheran Church

Emanuel Lutheran (Seeking a Pastor!)

Emanuel Lutheran (Seeking a Pastor!)

View from the Petersons' Home

View from the Petersons’ Home

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cool Coconut Milk on the Pacific Beach

Cool Coconut Milk on the Pacific Beach

Street of Old Panama City

Street of Old Panama City

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MON., MARCH 31

Today we enjoyed our trip to Colon with Pastor Rupert.  Our visit to the construction site of the new set of locks on the Panama Canal was awe-inspiring.  This is truly a massive and incredible project.  After driving THROUGH the Panama Canal on a draw bridge that lowers in between ships, we had lunch at a marina on the Atlantic coast.  We then briefly toured Colon and the massive “mall” of duty-free warehouses before returning to Panama City.  The best part of the day was interacting with Rupert: hearing his childhood stories of collecting crabs in the area and sharing joys and dreams about God’s awesome work in Panama.

Driving through the Canal

Driving through the Canal

Massive Canal Gates as We Drove Through

Massive Canal Gates as We Drove Through

Our Last Evening

Our Last Evening

Our "Last Supper" with Edilberto

Our “Last Supper” with Edilberto

TUES., APRIL 1

(~6:00 p.m.)  We just walked in the door of our own house … safe and sound and praising God for a WONDERFUL trip.  GOD IS GREAT!

 

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Panama Mission

Next Wednesday, March 26th, my family and I will be traveling to Panama City, Panama for a week-long mission trip.  We’ll be working and staying with the director of Lutheran Hour Ministries in Panama, Mr. Edilberto Mendez Mora.  Our primary tasks will be leading seminars on relationships in God’s way for singles and couples.  We’ll also be visiting the Lutheran Hour Ministry Center and take part in their work in the local schools through the program called Project Joel.  On Sunday, March 30th, I’ll be preaching for worship with the members of Emanuel Lutheran Church.

We’re excited for this opportunity to encourage the members of the ministry team in Panama and to give them tools they can continue to use long after we’ve departed.  We’re also thankful for the opportunity to teach many Panamanians about the abundant blessings of living all our relationships in God’s way.

Please join us in prayer for safety, health, good connections with everyone we meet, the work of the Spirit in the lives of all who receive our presentations and the ongoing work in Panama.

We hope to bring you all along with us virtually by posting on this blog-site.  As long as we have access to the internet, we’ll try to post regularly.  THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

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To Serve or Not to Serve?

Martin Luther once said in a sermon, “When a prince sees his neighbor oppressed, he should think: That concerns me! I must protect and shield my neighbor….The same is true for shoemaker, tailor, scribe, or reader.  If he is a Christian tailor, he will say: I make these clothes because God has bidden me do so, so that I can earn a living, so that I can help and serve my neighbor.”*

From DailyCraft

 

Neither Luther nor the words of Scripture make any distinction about the worthiness of the neighbor.  We’re simply to use our gifts for the good of all unconditionally.  This has relevance to comments I’ve heard from some who, in the name of Christ, say they will not render some service to those who are living in certain open sins.  They state that to do so would be to condone the sin.  This is a dangerous line of thinking that can easily put us in the place of God as judge.  The truth is, if we were not serving those living in sin, we would be serving NO ONE!

By contrast, consider the unconditional love that  Jesus shows for all people.  He died for all, even though we are all unworthy of such a sacrifice for us.  We’ve been called by God to serve all people with the same kind of unconditional love.  We may be the only way they will ever see and learn of Jesus’ love.

Yes, we don’t want to condone behavior that jeopardizes someone’s spiritual life.  At the same time, is it any better to ignore such people or reject them in a way that will most likely encourage them to continue in their spiritually lost condition?  It’s good to wrestle over this.  It’s good to consider what truly is best for our neighbors when we look at them with the unconditionally loving eyes of Jesus.  My prayer is that we can always let grace and love show forth to all people in God’s way.

 

*Martin Luther, “Sermon in the Castle Church at Weimar” (25 October 1522, Saturday after the Eighteenth Sunday after Trinity), in D. Martin Luthers Werke: Kritische Gesamtausgabe, 60 vols. (Weimar: Herman Böhlaus Nachfolger, 1883–1980) 10/3:382.

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Couple Prayer Power

Couples often ask, “What’s ONE thing we can start doing immediately to improve our marriage?”  To answer that, I need to know what they’re NOT doing.  Quite often, a couple of quick questions will provide some important answers.  Are you confessing your guilt to each other and offering forgiveness in the name of Jesus?  That’s one great place to start.  Are you praying together daily?  That’s another great step that can have huge blessings to your relationship.

Out of all the seminars that Heather and I have led, couple prayer together is one of the most engaging topics.  Most couples act as though they’ve never considered the idea, giving us the “deer in the headlights” look.  A few have tried it, but let it drop because it was awkward or too difficult to maintain.  However, MANY who’ve accepted the challenge to pray together daily have come back to us to report on what a HUGE blessing it’s been to them.  They’re living proof of the truth to Matthew 18:19, “Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.” (ESV)

How do you start?  It can be as simple as holding hands and praying out loud the Lord’s Prayer.  Then progress to each one adding a one sentence prayer of thanks for a blessing.  Then, take turns adding other short sentences … praises, confessions, requests.  Simply carry on a conversation with your heavenly Father … and let your best friend on earth listen in.

Praying together may seem strange, awkward or scary.  But, I guarantee it’s worth the effort to overcome these hurdles.  I KNOW from experience.  It’s been a HUGE blessing to Heather and me every day (except a few) for the last 21 years!

Photo by More Good Foundation

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ONLY With Jesus FIRST

One wedding, two funerals, two classes and four worship services.  Not the title for a hit movie, but the description of the weekend that awaits me.  A bit overwhelming if I try to do it all in my own power.  BUT, thankfully I don’t have to face it that way.  Instead, I’m keeping my THUMB UP to Jesus FIRST!  I know I’m already a winner even before I begin.  As the recipient of His unconditional love, I’m still married to Him even if I mess something up or fail to perform to my standards.  By His sacrificial love, I’m forgiven for the lack of attentiveness to the needs of others (esp. Heather and the kids) that will inevitably be part of my weekend.  By His incarnate love, I’m looking forward to feasting on His Body and Blood for my most important nourishment.  Yes, with my THUMB UP to Jesus, I’ll not only survive this weekend, but have the joy of passing along His AWESOME love to many hungry souls.  How blessed we are when we remember to keep our THUMB UP to JESUS … FIRST!

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