Harris & Mary

Posted on April 3, 2013 by Todd Biermann

Sometimes you see something in life that just makes you stop and say … “I’ve just seen Jesus!”  I had such an experience this week.  No, it wasn’t in Easter worship when we had someone dressed up as Jesus for a Gospel drama.  No, it wasn’t in the miniseries “The Bible.”  Instead, what REALLY showed me Jesus was an elderly man in my congregation by the name of Harris.  You see, Harris showed love in a way that is totally uncommon among sinful men.  Harris loved his dear wife, Mary, as Jesus loves us. 

For nearly 54 years, Harris gave his beloved bride,  Mary,  everything he could to bring joy to her life.  Even when she was confined to a wheelchair by the debilitating power of Parkinson’s disease, Harris didn’t stop loving her.  In fact, he loved her even more.  I would watch in awe as Harris would wheel Mary into church, no matter how bad the weather, and sit next to her with adoring eyes of love throughout the service.  I watched Harris sit with Mary for long hours as she was in the hospital battling for her life.  I watched Harris shedding tears of sorrow for his beloved as he was in one hospital bed and she was in another down the hall.  All of these glimpses showed the perfect sacrificial,  unconditional and incarnate kind of love that Jesus has for us.  But, the ultimate expression of love that Harris showed came on Easter Sunday afternoon.  It was then that Harris released Mary into the nail-pierced hands of her risen Savior, Jesus.  Rather than reacting with anger or hopeless despair, Harris took comfort that Mary was experiencing her most glorious Easter ever.  He loved her so much that he was willing to let her go to a place where she would have no more pain … even though he would be left without her.

This is how I saw Jesus.  His uncommon and truly sacrificial love.  Love that’s willing to go through the pain of loss so that his beloved can be free from suffering forever.  That’s what I saw in Harris.  That’s when I saw Jesus.

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A Teen’s BEST Friend

Posted on March 28, 2013 by Todd Biermann

Teen life is challenging.  This is especially true when it comes to wading through the raging waters of developing hormones and growing interest in the opposite sex.  Sadly, heartbreak is often a big part of this process.  Attempts at dating often leave one or both parties confused, frustrated and hurt.

That’s why it’s SO important for teens to get their relationship priorities in order.  First and foremost, they need to hear again and again that they are loved PERFECTLY by Jesus.  He is the perfect “husband” who loves them as his chosen “bride.”  He sacrificed Himself for each and every one of us.  On Good Friday, this truth is made vividly clear.  He chose to die on that cross out of UNCONDITIONAL love.  The jeers, flogging and crucifixion didn’t stop Him.  His love for us is unconditional.  It led Him to give up His flesh on the cross in perfect INCARNATE love.  The love between us and Jesus should be at the TOP of our “relationships” list.  He will NEVER let us down.  He will NEVER reject us.  He will NEVER force us to do things that will hurt us in the end.  He will NEVER cast us aside when something better comes along.  PLUS, He will ALWAYS listen when we cry.  He will ALWAYS forgive us when we mess up.  He will ALWAYS direct us in a better direction.  He will ALWAYS stick by us no matter what.

For a teen who’s struggling through relationships, it’s good to know that our NUMBER ONE relationship with Jesus is CONSTANT!  It’s PERFECT!  No pressure to wear the “right” clothes.  No pressure to “fit in” with everyone else.  No pressure for bad behaviors.

The One who rose on Easter gives us the hope of rising to a fresh start each day.  In His perfect, forgiving love, life goes on … even after a lousy boyfriend dumps you … even after the cruel girlfriend embarrasses you … even after you let yourself down and do something stupid.  Teen life is much more bearable when Jesus remains our top relationship priority.  Good Friday and Easter prove His perfect love!

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Teen Life in God’s Way

Posted on March 22, 2013 by Todd Biermann

Photo courtesy cdc.gov

The teenage years are very hard.  This is especially true when it comes to understanding relationships.  That’s why it’s so important to understand what God teaches us about marriage.  The principles summarized in Eph. 5:31 are an excellent guide for teen relationships.  Recall that God says, “… a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”  God’s teaching us that a husband and wife must love sacrificially, unconditionally and incarnationally (in the flesh).

The same is true for teens.  To have good relationships with others, especially the opposite sex, teens must SACRIFICE their own selfish desires.  It’s NOT just about ME!  They must also make a decision to love others UNCONDITIONALLY.  Don’t just care for others when they make you FEEL good.  Choose to care for them even when they hurt you … and they will.  Finally, have proper respect for the PHYSICAL well-being of others.  This requires us to remember that God designed our bodies to be used in HIS way.  This is especially true with sex.  When sex is reserved to be shared with a marriage partner of the opposite sex, things work out beautifully.  When God’s way is ignored, things get all messed up.  Mistakes in this area as a teenager can mess up the rest of your life.

God IS an excellent guide for teens as they seek to have good relationships.  God’s teachings are summarized well as we understand the concepts of SACRIFICIAL, UNCONDITIONAL and INCARNATIONAL LOVE in HIS WAY.  Most of all, love in God’s way is rooted in the love that Jesus has for us.  This means that even teenagers can be forgiven by Jesus when they mess up in their relationships.  They have a fresh start in Christ.  Now THAT’S a source of real hope.

Many of the next blog entries will focus on these concepts in greater detail.  Great things are in store when we live Teen Life in God’s Way.

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Prayer Power

Posted on March 15, 2013 by Todd Biermann

Prayer power prevails as proper prioritization is put in place.

Prominence must be placed on prayer to the Preeminent Provider of all that is positive.  Passing beyond our puny plots and placing our plans in His pierced palms provides us with the perfect perspective for prosperity.  Particularly, each penitent plea is provided with prompt and perfect pardon.

Passing to priority two, prayer with our partner puts us in the perfect place to prevail over the pernicious plots of the patron of pain.  Paired in prayer we are poised to pounce on every plan to part us.  Prayer points our paths where the Prince of Peace presides and preempts all peril for perpetuity.

Pleasant pastures are prepared for all who put prayer in a place of prominence with persistence.  Please pray for plentiful prayer and a preponderance of pleasant products to permeate each place where proper prayer prioritization is practiced.  Pretty please 🙂

From “More Good Foundation” Photostream

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Who’s 1st – Spouse or Kids?

Posted on March 8, 2013 by Todd Biermann

Recently, Giuliana Rancic, an entertainment reporter and reality TV personality,  caused some controversy by saying she puts her husband above her son.  She said the best thing she and her husband, Bill, could do for their son was to have a strong marriage.  That’s why she fosters a close relationship with her best friend, her husband.  Many disagree.  They argue that your children … helpless and vulnerable … must come before your spouse.

It’s exactly because our children ARE helpless and vulnerable that they so desperately NEED a mom and a dad who love each other in God’s way.  Children are born without any ability to turn away from Satan’s power and follow the ways of God … into eternal life.  Indeed, the sinful mind is hostile to God (Rom. 8:7).  So, children need to be brought to faith in Jesus through Baptism and the Word of God.  And, as parents promise when they bring their child for baptism, they’re to raise the child in the fear and nurture of the Lord.  They do this by teaching them the Word of God.  They do this by taking them to worship.  They do this by loving them with the love of Jesus.  THEY DO THIS BY GIVING THEM A LIVING PICTURE OF THE LOVE OF JESUS IN THE WAY THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!  This is why it’s so crucially important for a husband and wife to build their own relationship as their highest priority after their relationship with Jesus Christ.  When they love each other with the sacrificial, unconditional and incarnational love of Jesus, they’re teaching their children about Jesus in the best way of all.  Children will learn from this living example of the Gospel much faster and more deeply than through any other method of instruction.  God designed it this way.  That’s living our life in God’s way.

I applaud Mrs. Rancic!  She’s got it right.

 

[Photo courtesy of Disney ABC Television Group]

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Make It a Date!

Posted on March 1, 2013 by Todd Biermann

Last week we had the privilege of hosting 20 couples at our church for a “Romantic Dinner” complete with candles, nice music, free food and guided conversation.  The couples all raved about how wonderful it was to be on a “date” with each other.  Most commented that they RARELY do this.  THIS SHOULD NOT BE SO!!!

One of the lessons Heather and I have learned by experience and from countless wise mentors is that going on dates with your spouse regularly (ideally weekly) is VERY important to a healthy, thriving marriage.  Just as time in worship with God each week refreshes our faith, so also time with our God-given spouse on a date refreshes our relationship.  It provides an opportunity for uninterrupted conversation.  It allows you to be physically present with your beloved.  It reminds you that so much of what occupies you every day really isn’t very important by comparison to your prime relationship with Jesus and your next most important relationship … with your spouse.

If you’ve neglected date time with your spouse and the idea of spending time alone together seems unappealing or even frightening at this point, don’t give up and say it’s beyond hope.  God is gracious and loves to give us fresh beginnings.  Turn to HIM in prayer about this.  Then trust that He can and WILL bless you when you put a date on your calendar and just do it.  If you need some help with ideas on what to do for your date, there are many great resources available.  For instance, Heather and I have enjoyed using date-night planning kits from FamilyLife ministry.  These little kits offer lots of interesting and inexpensive ideas to fit every couple and every budget.  We’ve enjoyed things like buying a gift for your spouse in the mall for under $2 or leading your spouse on a scavenger hunt with pictures or playing disc golf together.  If finding babysitters is an issue, perhaps you can trade off watching the children with another couple that’s also in need of a date night.

Stop making excuses!  Pray for God to guide and bless you.  Put a date on your calendar EVERY WEEK.  Make your marriage a priority.  The payoff is priceless.  It’ll fuel the flames of romance in your marriage and lead you to a lifetime of growing love.  Make it a date … RIGHT NOW!

couple holding hands Myrtle beach sunrise © by David N Cooper

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The Recipe for Good Sex

Posted on February 22, 2013 by Todd Biermann

My family loves to bake cookies.  One of our favorite chocolate chip recipes is fairly simple, but delicious.  We’ve made them so many times that we have the recipe pretty well memorized.  It includes the basic ingredients like flour, eggs and sugar plus a few “special” ingredients to make them REALLY good.  Add the ingredients in the right amounts and right order, bake them at the right temperature for the right amount of time and voila, you have GOOD cookies!

Chocolate Chip Cookies Cooling © by ilovemypit

Sex is a lot like this.  When God created the perfect gift of sex, He designed it as the product of a process.  It requires the right ingredients in the right amounts in the right timing.  The key ingredients to good sex are laid out by God in Eph. 5:31.  There He teaches that good sex is to be found only in the context of love that is also sacrificial and unconditional.  In fact, it requires a man and a woman to make the choice to hold fast to each other unconditionally and always.  This is like adding the flour to your cookie recipe and then not taking any of it back out of the bowl.  Good sex also requires the man and woman to sacrifice their own selfishness to make their spouse their number one priority after God.  In order for the couple to be ready to enjoy sex in it’s perfect and most wonderful form, such sacrifice is expressed as the man and woman leave behind all other loves to declare their union to their spouse in a public marriage ceremony.  This is like adding the eggs to your cookie recipe.  Once you put the eggs into the other dry ingredients, there’s no going back.  You’re committed.  Public marriage shows that the couple is committed.  No going back.  When a man and woman have made the decision to always love unconditionally and have sealed it by leaving all other loves behind in a public ceremony, they’re ready to unite in a sexual bond that’s the culmination of all the preparation that came before.  When a married man and woman unite in the act of sex, it produces a sweet ecstasy that gives them a taste of heaven on earth.  It’s similar to (but MUCH better than) taking all your cookie ingredients, heating them in the oven and then taking that first bite of a warm cookie.  UMMM, UMMM!  Good stuff!

Of course, baking cookies can go bad.  If you use rotten eggs, your cookies will be terrible.  Instead of tasting delicious, they’ll probably make you sick or even kill you.  Sex is the same.  Fail to follow God’s recipe and things get terrible fast.  Fail to add the right ingredients or at the right time and you will NOT have good sex.  You’ll have something that will be bitter and even deadly (to relationships and possibly even spiritual life).

Good sex like good cookies requires following the right recipe.  Like cookies, it also requires commitment, patience and heat.  God provides the “heat” as He puts His Spirit into the hearts of a married couple that seeks His blessing.  When a man and woman use God’s ingredients (particularly unconditional and sacrificial love) in God’s timing (in the context of marriage) they have the makings for God’s gift of good sex.  Fresh cookies out of the oven are delicious.  Sex in God’s way is out of this world.  And, unlike cookies, this gift actually burns calories and never goes stale.  Sounds like a GOOD recipe 🙂

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Cruising with Power

Posted on February 15, 2013 by Todd Biermann

My family had an awesome time on our Caribbean cruise last week.  We had focused time together, beautiful weather, awesome sights to see, great food and great entertainment.  I’ll always cherish the memories including snorkeling with Micah in Cozumel, climbing a waterfall with the whole family in Jamaica and taking fourth place in a speed climbing competition on the ship’s rock wall.  All of these wonderful memories were possible because we were cruising on a ship with POWER!  It’s now poignantly clear that this shouldn’t be taken for granted.

Grand Cayman – Carnival Triumph © by roger4336

You’ve probably heard about the Carnival Triumph.  Just as my family was ending our wonderful cruise, the Triumph experienced a fire that left it mostly powerless.  For the next several days as the Triumph was towed to Alabama, the passengers had to endure very poor living conditions, to say the least.  There was discomfort, hunger, sickness, selfishness and anger.

Marriage is much the same.  When a marriage is cruising along under the power that  Jesus gives us, it becomes an awesome, memory-making adventure.  Take away that power from Jesus and things go bad quickly.  The joy, smiles, peace and delight that come from the love of Christ are quickly lost.  They’re replaced by disagreement, anger, hunger for love and sickness of heart, mind and body.

Having Jesus in a marriage doesn’t mean you won’t face difficulties or even great tragedies.  But it will change the way you deal with such things.  Just as many on the Triumph reacted with selfishness and evil when their ship lost power, many people will react the same way in a marriage without Jesus and His power.  But, with the power of Jesus, sinful humans receive and share forgiveness.  They work together to overcome each challenge.  They can enjoy the beauty of life under the power of Christ no matter where they cruise.

Take your lesson from the Triumph.  Never let your marriage (or any relationship) be stricken by the loss of power and the evil things that follow.  Stay connected to Jesus Christ.  His power will NEVER fail.  His love is constant.  His forgiveness is sure.  His blessings are abundant.  ENJOY the cruise of life with Jesus as your POWER!

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Family Time

Posted on January 30, 2013 by Todd Biermann

Cruise Ships Sail by Miami Beach © by Lisa Andres

Tomorrow I’ll be on my way for a much needed vacation with my family.  Although we’re not going to the Super Bowl, we’re taking advantage of it being in New Orleans.  We got a great deal on a western Caribbean cruise out of New Orleans on Feb. 2 because it’s hard for the cruise companies to get people to come to a city that’s totally filled with Super Bowl guests.  But, it works for us since we’re driving and staying outside of the city before and after the cruise.  This also works for us since we enjoy road trips.  Time to just be together as a family without distraction and without my ELECTRONIC LEASH!

I’m REALLY looking forward to being on a cruise that won’t have cell phone access.  My cell phone has become an invisible leash that won’t relinquish its hold on my ear and mind.  Even when I’m home with the family, our time is often interrupted by the URGENT (or not-so-urgent) call that demands immediate attention.  I find it hard to ever really “check out” and fully invest myself in the ones I love most on this earth, my wife and kids.

It’s been incredibly therapeutic for the past few weeks to just have this trip to look forward to.  Even if the cruise isn’t wonderful in every way, it will be wonderful to be away with my family in the midst of God’s grand creation.  I’ll still be praying for all of you … which I really enjoy doing in an extended way on road trips away like this.  But, I’m also looking forward to not talking to any of you 🙂  No offense.  Just need to renew so I can come back at it with full energy again.

Until I’m back … I entrust you all into the more capable hands of the Lord.  Thankfully, He NEVER takes a vacation from us 🙂

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MGW Retreat Comments

Posted on January 25, 2013 by Heather Biermann

Happy couple © by louiscrusoe

Todd and I recently returned from a wonderful Marriage In God’s Way retreat for married and engaged couples.  We had about 30 couples attend an overnight retreat in Holland, MI.  Nine of the couples were engaged and we had couples from all stages of life.  The longest married couple will be celebrating their 45th anniversary this year.  We had some wonderful comments on the evaluation sheets that we’d like to share.

My ONE greatest insight from this seminar was…

Making a choice to give up other choices.  Love is a decision, not just a feeling; love unconditionally!

Keep working to openly communicate.  We just need to keep God in the center of our relationship and look to His Word to build us up when we fall short.

We need to pray in front of our kids more and include our kids in prayer time.  We  committed today to turn off the T.V. at 8:50 pm, before bedtime, and pray all together.  Let the children say what is on their mind.

Reopening my eyes and refocusing on each other.  This has been a great experience.  Thank you for your time.  This could not have come at a better time in our relationship.

We were able to talk about some things that we kept quiet about.  It will be easier to continue the discussion at home now.

My wife’s love language has changed with the growth of her career.

 

[Husband]  To be the head and take charge.

To involve Christ in the sexual part of our marriage.

How things have already improved since you came to our church in 2009.

The ability to use our relationship with God and Christ on a daily basis to help build and gain strength in our marriage.

[Engaged couple] The way God wants marriage to be.  To ensure we get off on the right foot.

[Engaged couple]  As one of the engaged couples attending, it gave me a foundation to begin my Christian marriage.

Additional observations, suggestions or remarks:

I have a few friends who would really benefit from this.

We (my husband and I) truly enjoyed this weekend and it helped us to remember we have to put each other first.

I had a great time sharing this seminar with [my mate]

.  We gained a great deal of knowledge and tools to use in our process of strengthening our relationship through Christ.

How my marriage can be/is a tool to share Christ in the world.

If you are interested in attending one of our seminars and/or retreats or know someone who should, please make sure to look at our upcoming schedule and contact us.  We’d love for you to join us in strengthening your marriage.

 

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