The Perfect Husband

Posted on October 4, 2012 by Todd Biermann

Is there such a thing as the perfect husband?  Absolutely!  His name is Jesus.  That’s the point made by St. Paul in Eph. 5:32.  In reference to his words on the three aspects of marital love in the previous verse he says, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”  Jesus has claimed all Christians collectively as His beloved bride.  He has loved us with perfect love that fulfills the mandate of Eph. 5:31.  In a perfect way, Jesus loves us  SACRIFICIALLY, UNCONDITIONALLY and INCARNATIONALLY.  He sacrificed Himself for us all the way to hell … so we will never have to go there.  He unconditionally chooses to forgive us again and again and again even though we regularly play the unfaithful bride.  He gives us His very Body and Blood in His Supper to touch us in body and soul with the ultimate form of incarnate love.

From Jesus we learn of perfect love.  It is, in fact, only after we receive the perfect love of Jesus that we’re able to offer our feeble attempts at love.  Jesus forgives our inevitable failures in our relationships with our spouse and everyone else in our life.  He then empowers us with His perfect love to go and show His kind of love in those same relationships.  He makes it possible for us to fulfill His command from John 13:34, “just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” (ESV)  Drawing on the model and power of the perfect Husband, we all seek to show love that is SACRIFICIAL, UNCONDITIONAL and INCARNATIONAL.

Those who are the recipients of the perfect love of Jesus have discovered a profound mystery.  They understand that Jesus is the perfect Husband in His love for them.  This gives them a model to follow for marriage (and, to a certain degree, every other relationship).  Life in God’s Way is modeled and empowered by the perfect Husband, Jesus.

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Sacrificial, Unconditional & Incarnational Love

Posted on October 3, 2012 by Todd Biermann

Eph. 5:31 and it’s parallel passages teach us that the love in a marriage is to be SACRIFICIAL, UNCONDITIONAL and INCARNATIONAL.

As a man leaves his mother and father to become married to his wife, he’s SACRIFICING the comforts of home with his parents.  He’s sacrificing his old way of life.  He’s sacrificing his own selfishness.  He’s sacrificing his sinful ways.  All of this he does in order to focus on his wife in godly love.

When a husband chooses to hold fast to his wife, he’s making a decision to love her UNCONDITIONALLY.  Even though she will have faults, flaws and failures, he still makes the decision to love her every day, until death should part them.

When a husband unites with his wife physically to become one flesh with her, their love becomes INCARNATIONAL.  It is a love that is in the flesh.  It cares completely for the physical well-being of the other, knowing that care for spouse is care for self.

These aspects of love go both ways.  Marriage prospers when a wife loves her husband SACRIFICIALLY, UNCONDITIONALLY and INCARNATIONALLY.  It’s loving in the way that Jesus has first loved us.

In fact, any relationship can benefit from a proper application of these three aspects of love.  While the total physical union is reserved for a married man and woman, there is an appropriate physical love that is necessary for all relationships.  Our relationships in all of life will benefit when our love is SACRIFICIAL, UNCONDITIONAL and INCARNATIONAL.

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A Key to Marriage

Posted on October 2, 2012 by Todd Biermann

 

Simple and memorable guidance for marriage.  That’s what God gives us through a key Bible passage that’s repeated three times, once at each of three key points in History.  The Word of God instructs us, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (ESV)  This passage is first heard from the mouth of God, the Father, at creation in Gen. 2:24.  It’s repeated by God, the Son (Jesus), during His earthly ministry in Mat. 19:5 (parallel in Mrk. 10:7).  Finally, it’s spoken by St. Paul under inspiration of God, the Holy Spirit, during the days of infancy of the Christian church in Eph. 5:31.  Our Triune God has made it clear that throughout History (creation, re-creation, and current age of the church), His will for marriage is the same.  This one passage helps summarize that will of God in a concise way.

We can make God’s marriage teaching from this passage memorable by using the same symbol we often use for the Trinity … a triangle.  Marriage functions well when three elements are held up as equally important.  They are 1. leave mother and father, 2. hold fast to spouse & 3. become one flesh.  Studying the meaning of these three, its possible to say that marriage involves SACRIFICIAL love, UNCONDITIONAL love and INCARNATE love.  Put one of these words on each point of a triangle and you’ve got a simple picture of God’s way for marriage.  Sounds simple.  Right?!  The words may be few, but the meaning is PROFOUND.  In fact, when we understand the three aspects of love in this passage about marriage, we understand a worldview that will impact our entire LIFE!  When you know the three parts of marriage in God’s way, you’ve got an excellent guide to a complete LIFE in GOD’S WAY.

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Relationship Priorities

Posted on September 2, 2012 by Todd Biermann

“Thumbs Up” Illustration

It can be challenging to keep all our relationships in order.  If we don’t, life can become confusing, frustrating and devoid of God’s love.  Yet, God offers us direction on how to align our priorities in His way.  God’s directives can be summarized in a SIMPLE and MEMORABLE way using the “thumbs up” illustration for prioritization of relationships.

Christ

The first point of the “thumbs up” illustration is that our primary relationship is to be with Jesus Christ.  This can be represented by making a FIST with the hand and then extending the THUMB upward.  The thumb pointing upward, extending from the center of the fist, reminds us that our attention must be focused upward on Jesus Christ.  All other relationships in life wrap around this one primary relationship.  This focus on Christ gives us our identity.  We’re claimed and shaped by the grace of God in Christ.  Even when we make mistakes in our balance of relationships, we’ll always receive a new start through Holy Absolution for Christ’s sake.  This unmerited forgiveness from Christ is the essential starting place before we’re able to enter into a loving relationship with others.  We must begin with our “thumb up” to remind us of our primary relationship with Christ that provides us with the free forgiveness and strength we need.

Spouse

Once we’re clear on our relationship with Christ as our first priority, we can then apply what we learn from Him in our other relationships.  These other relationships can be illustrated by the fingers of the “thumbs up” illustration.  The four fingers wrapping around the central axis are representative of all our human relationships in life.  The FORE-FINGER represents the relationship with spouse.  A husband is to be “one flesh” with his wife.  In this relationship, a husband is to practice and model what he’s learned of the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church.  Understanding this relationship is a key to life in God’s way and will be considered in greater detail later.  Briefly now, as an introduction, we note that in Gen. 2:24, Mat. 19:6 and Eph. 5:31, God repeats this mandate for marriage, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”  This directive from the Creator of man and marriage indicates that the husband is to cherish the relationship with his wife as his most precious earthly gift.  Since marriage is the first institution that God established among men, it fits that a husband should make it a first priority to take care of the relationship with his wife.  When a husband and wife receive and then share the sacrificial, unconditional, and incarnational love of Christ on a daily basis, they’ll build a strong foundation for the other relationships in their life.

Children & Extended Family

This brings us to the next finger in the “thumbs up” illustration.  After the marriage relationship represented by the fore-finger, next is the MIDDLE FINGER as a representation of the relationship with our children and other extended family members.  This includes parents, siblings, in-laws, step-family members, and any others in our extended family.  These relationships prosper when Christ remains on top and the relationship with spouse is in good order.  The love of Christ will flow down to this next level of relationship when the relationships with Christ and spouse are secure.  The first commandment of the second table of the Ten Commandments is directed to the relationship between children and parents as the Lord commanded, “Honor your father and your mother.”  The marriage mandate also speaks of the great importance of the relationship between a man and his parents as it directs the man to “leave father and mother” in order to be united to his wife.  These passages indicate that after the relationship between husband and wife, the next highest priorities in our human relationships are those with our children and parents.  As a general guideline, the middle finger can serve as a reminder about the importance of all our extended family relationships.

Church Family

Next, we consider the RING FINGER of the “thumbs up” illustration.  This finger represents our relationships with fellow Christians.  These relationships hold precedence over those with the general population as we are called by God to show special care for those in the household of faith (cf. Gal. 6:10).  Relationships at this level will prosper when they’re modeled after healthy relationships at all the levels mentioned previously.  If a Christian has poor relationships with Christ, spouse and/or extended family, then his relationships with those of the church “family” will also be negatively impacted.  However, when we practice Christ-like relationships in these higher levels of priority, then we’ll have ready illustrations to draw upon in our church family relationships.

World

Finally, we come to the “PINKY” in our “thumbs up” illustration.  This finger represents our relationships with those who have not yet been baptized into the name of Jesus.  We must have concern for these relationships as the Lord commanded us in Mat. 28:19 to “make disciples of all nations.”  This necessary level of relationships in life will and must flow out of all the other relationships mentioned above.  As we remain strong in our relationships with Christ, spouse, family and church family, we’ll be a model of Christian love for the world to see.  We’ll have many opportunities to then speak of the reason for the way we live.  We’ll be able to speak clearly the Law and Gospel of Christ.  Most of all, we’ll be able to proclaim the greatest love of all, the free grace of God in Christ.

The “thumbs up” illustration can be very useful in keeping relationship priorities clear.  It’s consistent with the teachings of God’s Word.  It’s clear throughout Scripture that we’re to place our relationship with our Lord, Jesus Christ, as our number one priority.  As we hear in the first commandment, from Ex. 20:3, the Lord declares, “You shall have no other gods before me.”  Not even wife, children or church family are to be above our relationship with the Lord.

Balance

Next, concerning the four fingers, the fitting word is BALANCE.  We’re to value all our human relationships – with spouse, children, family, church family and those yet to be reached with the Gospel message.  And, it’s helpful to keep each relationship in mind using the four fingers of the “thumbs up” illustration.  However, the priority in importance and time usage of these four fingers will shift according to the most pressing need at any given time.  Such balance is only achievable when we continually return to the forgiveness, model and strength of Christ.  Maintaining balance is never a simple task, yet the “thumbs up” illustration may be useful in keeping the priorities in order.  This illustration can serve as a “check list” as we consider, in order, the well-being of our spouse, children, extended family, church family and those yet to believe.  Thus, the “Thumbs Up” illustration is a very helpful tool for maintaining the proper prioritization of our relationships; a key to life in God’s way.

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Relationship Priorities – An Introduction

Posted on September 2, 2012 by Todd Biermann

The brave knight stepped forth, clad in his suit of armor, and extended his hand to receive the most important tool of his trade; his mighty broadsword.  As his faithful servant held the handle toward him, the knight carefully set his forefinger against the hilt, wrapping it tightly around the handle to set his grip in place.  He then extended his long middle finger fully around the circumference of the mighty handle to insure a secure grip on his weapon.  Next in order, he gripped the cold metal firmly with his mightiest finger of all, his powerful ring finger, giving him confidence that not even the mightiest of blows would dislodge his blade from his grip.  After these other fingers had been set in place, he added the smallest finger of all to join the others, though it was certainly not insignificant as it lent perfect balance to the entire grip.  Finally, the knight placed his powerful thumb atop all his fingers, pointing along the sleek line of his sword toward its razor sharp tip.  The thumb was the necessary completion of his mighty grip, without which none of the fingers would be of any value in controlling this powerful tool of defense and destruction.  Now, with his gauntlet enshrouded hand in complete control of his glinting blade, the knight held it high above his head, feeling its weight and balance.  He was confident that his grip would not fail.  He was ready to venture forth into a fierce duel to the death.

A knight must have a firm grip on his broadsword if he’s to be ready to do battle.  A loose grip would mean certain defeat at the hands of his enemy.  So, too, every one of us must have a firm grip on our view of life or the winds and woes of life will thrash us, send us far off course and beat us down to a place of aimless despair.  This is especially true in the realm of relationships.  A person must have a clear worldview when it comes to how to interact with others.  If one is not clear on this, he will be pulled in multiple directions by all those he encounters.

Drawing on the illustration of our knight above, we can compare the knight’s fingers to a person’s relationships with all the people in his life.  Some of these relationships are close and of great significance.  These must be handled with special care as they set the direction for much of life.  Other relationships require a great investment of time and energy to keep them in order.  Others, while not as high in prioritization, must still be carefully maintained in order to keep one’s entire life in balance.  If a person is to keep his life under a balanced control, he must be constantly vigilant to all his relationships with the people in his life.  And, most of all, he must have his thumb in place.  When it comes to relationships, the thumb represents a person’s relationship with God.  This pinnacle of relationships is the one that extends over all the others to point them in one common direction and to keep them in their proper place.  If the thumb is not properly in place, one will lose his grip on all the other relationships in life and will be left defenseless against the attacks of an evil world.

What does all of this have to do with “Life in God’s Way”?  The purpose at hand is to set forth a SIMPLE and MEMORABLE WORLDVIEW that will guide a proper grip on the relationships of life.  This grip is one with the one true God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, as the “thumb” that will direct and empower a strong hold on all the other relationships.  For brevity, the name of Jesus will serve as the “thumb” in this worldview, for His name encompasses all that we know of the one true God.  With Jesus as the “thumb” over all our other relationship “fingers,” it’s possible to have a strong and balanced grip on our worldview.  It gives us the simple clarity of focus to defend against the lies of a sinful world.  It gives us the power and clear direction to go on the offensive and carve out a straight and narrow path through life.  Maintaining a “thumbs up worldview” is a short way of saying that it is essential to have a strong and attentive focus on Jesus if one is to have a worldview that will effectively guide all the relationships of life.

With a “thumbs up worldview” that’s centered on Jesus Christ, a person is prepared to handle all the challenges, joys and sorrows that will come our way in our relationships with others.  This will be especially true in our primary human relationship; the marriage relationship.  A marriage that’s guided by Jesus is one that will be strong and able to withstand the assaults it will most certainly encounter.  Marriage is an institution that’s under attack.  Some even believe it’s received its fatal blow and is in the throes of death.  However, God, who created the institution of marriage, speaks otherwise.  His Word guides us to a way for marriage that will enable this institution to survive and thrive.  This way is summarized quite concisely in one key passage in the Bible, Eph. 5:31 & 32.  If one is able to understand and hold fast to God’s teaching regarding marriage, it will have a tremendously important impact on his entire worldview.  It will guide him to better understand his relationship with the “thumb,” Jesus.  It will also guide him to a better grasp on all his other relationships with the people in his life.  A “thumbs up worldview” will yield strong relationships in every aspect of life that will give the individual a confident defense and a bold offense for the inevitable battles of life.

“Life in God’s Way” will be useful to anyone who seeks to get their relationships … and all of life … in order, in God’s way.  However, it will be especially valuable to those who influence others as Christian church workers.  As they grasp the SIMPLE and MEMORABLE insights of the “thumbs up worldview,” they’ll have a powerful weapon to guide them in leading others by example and instruction.  They’ll be able to cut through the confusing lies of the Evil One and keep their relationships in order in God’s way.  As will be seen, right relationship priorities and life in God’s way go hand in hand … or rather “hand in gauntlet.”

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An Introduction to Life in God’s Way

Posted on September 2, 2012 by Todd Biermann

God’s perfect way for marriage and family relationships continues to be replaced by the way of fools … otherwise known as sinful humans.  The destructive impact on marriages, families and society as a whole is alarming.  Relationships are being broken and the Gospel of Jesus Christ is being obscured.  One of the most distressing aspects of this demise is that those in the Christian church who should be leading others to know and follow God’s way are falling to the same godless ways.  Church workers are seeing their marriages fall to pieces, their families crumble and their lives disintegrate.  This is taking a terrible toll on all who seek to learn the way of God from these leaders.

Yet, the God who created marriage and family never abandons us.  His enduring Word continues to show us the way to forgiveness, healing and hope … if we listen to its simple truth.  God shows us how to put our priorities in order.  He teaches us the basic elements that are essential to healthy relationships.  We benefit as we remember these basic truths on a daily basis.  We’re renewed by placing Jesus in the number one position in life.  We’re equipped and empowered to love others as He has first loved us.

Many very good resources are available to guide us to God’s way for relationships.  The unique approach of “Life in God’s Way” is to KEEP IT SIMPLE & MEMORABLE.  Five fingers and a triangle are all it takes to remember God’s way to a strong Christian marriage, family and life as a whole.  These simple illustrations will place God’s power in our hands to guide both personal practice and instruction for others.  They’ll provide newcomers to the Christian faith with blessings and guidance that are within their grasp.  These simple illustrations will also be effective means for those who have never really understood the true Jesus to be drawn into a saving relationship with Him that will change all the rest of their relationships as well.

God is the master of relationships.  His wonderful way is right at our fingertips.  There is still hope for marriages, families and society as a whole.  It’s all a matter of learning to live “Life in God’s Way.”

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